Day 23 US Embassy

Becky here...I am in Kiev and Kevin is in Mariupol a day away. He has already taken over blogging and photo posting duties but thought I would do a quick update from my phone. The Embassy was great and it did make me feel a little closer to home. I got teary when I saw the  American flag flying outside my window..my Russian speaking driver thinks I am nuts. I filled out some papers and Kevin and the boys will complete them before they leave. The Embassy was easy and now I am just getting ready to leave Ukraine tomorrow...I love this country but I have been gone so long I can't wait to leave. To all my children..I dream about holding you!

Court (day what I don't know)

Today was our day in court.  Everybody gets their day in court right?  Pouring rain today for the first time since we came to Mariupol – we’ll take that as a good sign.  Okay so we had the same prosecutor as the Gardiners but not the same experience.  It went very well.  We did have the same questioning about Becky’s income or lack thereof and how she would be able to work (I guess assuming that I am not around).  While I think they understood that it was good that she could stay at home it has become very important to show some sort of documented history of work and income.  Our interpreter was on the other side of me from Becky so I missed part of what was said during the three hours so I just leaned into Sergei and tried to listen for Russian words that I knew (like two of them).

The jurors sit at the bench with the judge which I didn’t pick up on at first.  The translator was using ‘guy’ to describe everyone so I also wasn’t sure at first who the prosecutor was – because she was in fact so easy going in her questioning I thought that she was an advocate for the orphanage.  It didn’t help that she was also sitting with the psychologist and Oksana from the orphanage.  If I knew more Russian I would probably have figured this all out a little quicker.

Our translator (Dennis) told us that our defender (is that right?  Yeah I should know) Alexander was the main reason that the hearing went so well.  Alexander made sure that Becky was prepared to speak on the subject of income with the judge.  From what Alexander told Dennis the judge was as much interested in the subject as the prosecutor had been with the Gardiners.

Sergei was questioned by the judge as well and with good questions.  About his past care, his family in Ukraine, his isolation from that history should he agree to move the US, and about Max as well.  I imagine it was a very hard day for my son as it was hard for us and our task was much easier as we only had to answer the court’s concerns about our ability to care for our sons.

So once the hearing was completed and I was allowed to say my few words in Russian about my boys we moved to another room on the same floor to await the verdict.  This room had a more old style official feel to it.  There were three chairs at the front with high wood backs carved with the Soviet hammer and sickle and then a center banister pedestal.  We were joined by both attorneys and the prosecutor asked us some additional questions.  In asking these additional questions of us we discovered that a family had adopted three children form the orphanage five years ago and that now (get this) had petitioned the same court in Mariupol to return all three of their children.  The prosecutor was asking us if we knew why in the world the parents would do this.  We had to side with her on this – no idea why they would take such outrageous action.  She asked if we would look into it for her once back in the US and email her with anything helpful that we might find.  She also asked us to reach out to her if there were any difficulties in completing our adoption.  She really is trying to find any avenue out there that will help her in this case.  I’m sure Sergei loved hearing about all this.

We also have the email of Alexander and we will get to Skype with him when back home.  Becky can express love and gratitude better than anyone with a smile and a hug and well Alexander it turns out is a grandfather – those two hit it off nicely in the hallway after the hearing (yes they were both tearing up just a bit).

Back in came the judge, we all stood, he read from the court documents, told our Sergei to be good, and said we were approved.  So here we are after all of this time right where we had hoped to be - thank you to everyone today from the judge on down for your care with these boys.

And that is how we roll forty days from the Resurrection.

By the Gift of Fortitude

My dearest daughters – today was award day for Suzy but it was really an award day for each one of you.  Thank you Suzy for your fortitude and example and thank you Pearl and Charlotte for exactly the same as this award is for you two as well.  Today at your school after Mass Suzy you were awarded the Mother Teresa award for the month.  For May that award was Patience.  I had been watching each month this year to see if you might be a recipient while separately we had talked many times about the gift of patience and fortitude – one of the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit.  And now in May it makes perfect sense for your school acknowledge you for patience while your mom and dad are away and patience while we have worked on our adoption of you brothers.  I love you three girls very much and I only wish that I could have been there with all you of you today.  I will have to be patient knowing that I will be home soon and that we can then take the boys to the trail and play some soccer together.

Here is an excerpt from the principle’s letter that speaks to the award better than I can:

“Patience is quiet hope and trust, expecting things to turn out all right. Patience is being calm and tolerant when difficult things happen. It means showing acceptance when you or others make mistakes. Patience is doing something now so that later it will bear fruit, like planting a seed and waiting for it to grow. Patience is a commitment to the future.”

Day 20: Getting things done!

Court is on Thursday and that night I fly to Kiev (same price as an overnight train ride…WHO KNEW?!) to file papers Friday morning with the US Embassy. We need everything ready before I go because if I leave Kevin in charge of getting the boys clothes and goodbye gifts, it could go bad pretty quick. We are feeling the time crunch over here.

I spent a good 4 hours trying to book a ticket home (Kiev to Paris) and it must be officially summer because weekend flights are getting booked really fast. I will finish the paperwork Friday in Ukraine and leave Saturday for Paris. I will leave Paris Monday at 6am and hold my girls that night! This was the cheapest way to go and I will not have internet or phone service, so wish me luck! Kevin will take over all blogging duties so harass him on FB to stop FacebookIng and to blog!

The boys were so much fun yesterday. We played our 1 hour soccer game, did an English lesson and then busted out the new watercolors we found today at the grocery store. The boys loved it and so did we. Sergei says he is ready for court (Max is too young to attend) and Kevin and I are getting nervous. We cannot let the jury or judge know that we met Sergei last summer. So we need to get our story straight and then practice the scene from A Few Good Men , “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!” Okay…we will probably just sit there, quietly wringing our hands together and trying to get through each question without getting thrown out of the courtroom. Court goes two ways…good or bad…pray for good.

(Sergei and Volva in a traditional Ukrainian photo pose)

Busy days ahead…we will update faster this time but our internet was terrible and I had to get the plane tickets, sorry to make you wait! Love you all!

Day 19: Photo-Montage

Somehow Sergei got out of school today because of his neck injury.  Neck injury and no school – I should have a picture with a brace but he seems fine.  Back in the old США that may not work as well but here is was nice to have a cooler morning to play soccer with the boys and we were able to have a little more time with them as well.  What follows are some fun pictures from the week…


How big brothers take pictures





Mr. Muscles



Cheeeeeese!

Cause we're bad ass wrestlers.

Our favorite shirt.

Nastia Morford!

шах и мат

Day: 18 Best Worse Day Ever!

Mother’s Day in Ukraine…Well our dear friend and Russian translator from the summer program Jerrylynn, coined the phrase,  “this is the worse/best day of my life” and I am going to steal it. It describes my emotions perfectly. This was the Best Worst day ever…

Worse Day: It is Mother’s Day and I have five kids but not one in my bedroom early this morning to snuggle in my bed wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day.

Best Day: Went to the tinny tiny Catholic church Kevin found today, didn’t understand a word, and cried all the way through. God loves us so much and he gave our family this miracle. No other way to put it, what is happening is a miracle.

Worse Day: Walked into the orphanage gates to see a caretaker looking after 8 little ones about 1-2 years old and watched as she yelled and pulled one off the ground hard. The cries of that baby broke us…No Mama to hold and love her tonight.  

Best Day: Sergei and Kevin played soccer with the big boys and had a blast while Max played soccer with me. Another kid wanted to play with me and Max but Max said no…he just wanted me! I gave that kid a candy and sent him on his way; he was happy and so was I. Can you say bonding break through! I carry tons of balloons and suckers with me so every kid I see at the orphanage always gets a little something.

Worse Day: Cried about leaving Max behind when I leave for the US…everyone he has loved leaves him.

Best Day: Took my nap today and woke up to see a beautiful 11 red rose bouquet from Kevin. He tried to buy me 12 but 12 is bad luck here, so the flower lady refused.

Worse Day: Walked in the park and saw beautiful little girls dancing while three old ladies walked arm in arm singing a beautiful song in Russian. Kevin and I looked at each other with our eyes full of tears…we miss our girls.

Best Day: Went on a 5 mile walk to dinner (I thought it was closer but I was wrong!) ate a nice dinner with my sweet, kind, thoughtful and loving husband and grabbed a taxi home.

TIPS FOR TRAVELING FAMILIES

1.       We packed one carry on each and it has worked out great. You have a lot of moving around to do so it has been nice just having 1 bag each to lug up the 4 flights of stairs and stuff in the train, cars and taxi’s. We packed clothes for the boys and are buying their shoes here. We also bought a backpack here for Sergei so he can have a carry-on. I am leaving all the clothes I can of mine behind for the orphanage, which will also give me some room for my souvenirs.  We packed travel size everything just to get us here and then bought full size shampoo, hairspray, etc. from the market. I also left my hairdryer and curling iron home, bought both here with European plugs for $27. Bring a converter if you pack your stuff from home and check the volt requirements…we blew a fuse in France!

Other families have brought more and had no problems as well. We just liked have no bags to check the ease of it. If you are thinking about just bringing one bag, just know you can.

*ANYTHING YOU NEED, YOU CAN GET HERE! Clothes, contact solution, tampons, shampoo, Tide..

2.       Bring a reusable grocery bag. Bethany suggested this and she was right…we live out of it! We bring ours to the school every day stuffed with cookies and activities for the kids, love it!

3.       Woolite Wrinkle releaser spray. There is an iron in the Mariupol apartment but it is just handy for that first week you are living out of a suitcase.

4.       We did not bring gifts for the staff from home. We just took that budgeted amount and are purchasing the items here. It has been fun for Sergei to tell us what HE wants to give and then it give Kevin and I a good excuse to get out and about and practice our Russian!

5.       Cards. I bought a few packages and am letting Sergei write a letter or note to anyone he wants to say goodbye to. I am also using these as my thank you cards for the staff and our facilitators.

6.       Clothes: It is HOT right now. You can pretty much wear anything here (most of the women decide to wear almost nothing at all) so whatever you bring it will be fine. Make it comfortable and easy to wash. Summer dresses and skirts are in style here and are cool in this heat. I bought two long ones (I have to be able to play soccer in mine) and am wearing them constantly with t-shirts. Men: Shorts and t-shirts are fine. Kevin found a pair of Khaki shorts but we have seen denim as well (could not talk Kevin into them). Just remember if you go denim, to roll the short at the knee. If you HAVE denim shorts this may be your last opportunity to wear them without being laughed at!

7.       Bring a week worth of little activities to do with your kids from home. After that you will have time to get settled and can go out and pick up little games and knick-knacks for the rest of your trip.

8.       Go out with the idea that everyone speaks English. It is really true so if you must comment on the mini-skirt aka: “That is not a skirt…where is her mother?! Holy shizzz… SHE IS THE MOTHER!” should be whispered under your breath, just like in the US.

9.       Sleep! If you are tired…SLEEP! This adoption process is very emotionally draining, sleep helps a lot. We both take a nap everyday (30 mins to 3 hours). It is okay…don’t feel guilt, just do it.

10.   Kevin and I eat breakfast and lunch here in the apartment and try to go out for dinners.  Dinners run us between $5 to $15 for both of us. It is fun to try something new and it is just fun to get out together. We walk every night up to the park in our neighborhood and get an ice cream and sit on the benches to people watch and talk. I have ordered some weird stuff here and there on accident but we always have fun.

11.   Kevin has been my personal guide! He knows all of his numbers in Russian and knows how to pronounce all the Russian letters…this has help us a ton. He can read a little bit and has NEVER mis-ordered like me. If you don’t have time to learn before you go…you will be fine, it is just fun.

12.   Don’t drink the milk.

13.   Find your church and go. It calms the storm.

Have fun, enjoy your time with your spouse, relax, pray, cry and laugh…it is the adventure of a lifetime!